'Birthers' fume, defend Bennett

The first message left on my voice mail over the weekend came from the president of the Confederate States of America, which should have told me what I was in for.

I didn't write down his message. It didn't seem all that important, given that that whole Confederacy thing was settled in, you know, 1865.

Or, as it turns out, was it?

Mr. President was among a hundred or so people who called or wrote in to spring to Secretary of State Ken Bennett's defense as he continues his quest for truth, justice and Barack Obama's birth certificate.

It seems they didn't appreciate my Saturday column lamenting the laughter headed our way when the state's chief elections officer picks up the "birther" battle cry and charges off into looneyland.

"You're another indoctrinated, university-educated -- I assume -- person, and it's people like you that have our nation in the trouble we're in," one caller said.

"You're an Obama hack," another said.

Then there was Jim, who, like the others, has made a serious study of this whole matter of Obama's birth.

"There is no real birth certificate from Hawaii," he said, "because the people born at the same time at the same hospital have a different birth certificate and if you would get off your ass and do some real reporting, you would see that. But instead, you decide to drink the Kool-Aid and walk in lockstep with the rest of the Democratic Party. When are we going to have some real reporters, because it doesn't seem like we have them anymore. That's why I get my information from the Internet."

Given that, I would guess that Jim is fuming today over reports that Obama is eyeing a spot on Mount Rushmore, but I digress.

I'd be happy to get off my posterior if it involves a trip to Hawaii, Jim. Feel free to bring it up to the boss. I just don't know what I would find there. About Obama's birth, that is.

Hawaii doesn't release copies of birth certificates, but state officials have repeatedly said that Obama was born there. Last year, they made an exception and released a copy to Obama, who then posted it on the Internet. Hawaii's Department of Health even provides a link on its website.

"I have seen the original records filed at the Department of Health and attest to the authenticity of the certified copies the department provided to the president that further prove the fact that he was born in Hawaii," Hawaii Health Director Loretta Fuddy said at the time.

That isn't good enough for the birthers -- or for Bennett, who, at their urging, contacted Hawaii eight weeks ago. Last week, Bennett said it was "possible" that the president's name would be left off Arizona's ballot this fall if Hawaii doesn't comply with his request and verify Obama's birth. (Again, that is.)

Would Bennett really follow through on that?

"It's a good question," his spokesman, Matt Roberts, told me Monday. "I think we'll cross that bridge when we get there."

Actually, I think Bennett already leaped into the chasm.

"If Hawaii can't or won't provide verification of the president's birth certificate, I will not put his name on the ballot," Bennett wrote in an April 27 e-mail to the birthers, who are delighted to find someone in officialdom willing to take up their cause.

Two things I've discovered about the birthers: They have no sense of humor and, if you don't buy into the grand conspiracy, you're a communist or, worse, a liberal Democrat.

"You might want to get out of Obama's tank and into the real world, a world with real, honest-to-goodness, God-fearing, moral people who believe in good over evil, not those who appear to worship Obama as if he were the Messiah," wrote Kandy of Scottsdale.

"The only ones laughing at Arizona are all of you gullible White liberal commies," said Jerry, in a voice message. "True Americans are of a mind that Obama is not a U.S. citizen. ? By the way, when did you become a criminal investigator? Do you have a staff of people that can find the truth or are the arse-kissing owners and managers of this rag sheet that you work for still bowing down to the Black Jesus?"

Then there was this woman, who didn't leave her name: "We need to question where Barack Obama comes from because I think he's a narcissist and I don't think he's honest," she said.

By that measure, most of Congress might be foreign-born.

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