COMMENTARY | I've seen a few election years in my life, but never have I seen so much comedic license taken with candidates as we are enjoying with this campaign. Everywhere I look I am amazed.
Tonight I was roaming the Internet and stumbled onto Yahoo!'s hilarious "funny or die" GOP cyberdebate. I was howling with laughter at Patrick Warburton's interpretation of Rick Perry. What perfect casting. Then I saw Barack Obama's rebuttal. That was scary.
The reason we have to laugh is because really what's before us is quite terrifying. While I am glad to see the late not-so-great Newt Gingrich putting his foot in his mouth with ever increasing frequency and uproar, what we're left with for choices is pretty sobering.
Gingrich's blunt comments to the black community about food stamps instead of paychecks was characteristically tactless, regardless of what he meant by it. According to ABC news there has been an explosion of Web commentary about that one, so no need to address it here. Suffice to say that Gingrich has shown he can't open his mouth without upsetting someone. He can't go down fast enough to suit me.
Unfortunately what we're left with is a crew of presidential hopefuls who want to take shots at each other and harp on gay marriage while conspicuously avoiding the real issues. I still have hopes for Jon Huntsman because unless he wins the nomination, I will have no choice but to vote for Obama. An election in which voters can only choose the one who scares them the least puts America on precarious ground indeed.
Here's why I wouldn't vote for any of the following candidates.
Newt Gingrich: Besides all the many reasons I have enumerated in other commentary, his tendency to get people's hackles up probably wouldn't make us friends internationally. He also isn't nice when things don't go his way.
Rick Perry: Um, who?
Rick Santorum: I didn't like him in the first debate. He thinks he has been peeking into my heart and knows what's in there. At least that's what he said in Manchester N.H., according to the Los Angeles Times.
Mitt Romney: How is he going to decide which direction to go when he's the one everybody is following?
Ron Paul: Much as I like to complain about the government, I rather like having one.
It looks like a rough ride until November. I may not have any fingernails left by then.
